I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
