Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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