I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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