been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
