literally had 100 drinks last night.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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