if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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