Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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