For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
