Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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