Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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