I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
