Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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