Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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