if only i could text you this smell
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
