He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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