East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
