You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
