i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
