Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
look no pants
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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