It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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