Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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