i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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