Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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