Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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