He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
