I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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