like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
