Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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