You really coming over, don't trick.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
