I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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