You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
