We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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