STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize