I need help removing her.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
