where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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