Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
