I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize