my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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