oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did we literally take a cab across the street
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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