remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
