It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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