Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're my little dorito
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
