# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am available for nakedness
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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