his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
