I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
