make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
