he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
