At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Rumble strips road head = magical
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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