I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
