wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
