Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i drank out of a bidet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
