Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
