I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
