Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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