Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
