Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
