Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think I just sharted jello shots
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
