so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
