oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
