Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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