never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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