Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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