I'm gonna have a badass scar
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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