Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
